if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
