bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Houston, we have a squirter
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think your dad took our porno
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
