Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
