i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
