I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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