My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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