I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize