did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
