butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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