even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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