It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
