Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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