If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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