I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
