birth control should be required to get into college
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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