can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
