Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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