I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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