I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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