Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
