weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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