update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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