Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Boobs speak an international language.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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