I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
