I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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