$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize