Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
