Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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