I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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