found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
