so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
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I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
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I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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