You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
