Sponge bath it is.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
