She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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