As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
