The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
