dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
