I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
