is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
