I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
