i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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