i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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