i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
