I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
