i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
