There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
