if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
