Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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