office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
