You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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