Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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