please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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