The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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