My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
