You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
