ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
