Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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