I love black thongs
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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