I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
